

But that's okay, because the part of Chinese New Year that I enjoy is the anticipatory build-up, the two weeks before the actual holiday. Flower shops set out sidewalk displays of gorgeous peach blossom branches, and fat bushes studded with Mandarin oranges. The shopping malls and buildings decorate their public spaces splendiforously, with lanterns as huge as Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloons. Suddenly the air is filled with endless loops of Cantonese opera Muzak everywhere you go--lobbies, building elevators, supermarkets. Yesterday in Park and Shop, I found myself doing a little scarf dance in the dairy aisle.
And, like Mrs. Wong, I love the fai cheun.
Some of you are probably wondering: what are these fai cheun? They are the vertical Chinese paper scrolls, usually red, occasionally gold, that Chinese put up on their doors and walls at this time of year. The Chinese characters "fai cheun" literally mean "brushstroke of spring". But it's usually translated as "Spring Couplets." Written on each fai cheun is a four-character poetic message–a wish for good luck, good health, prosperity, etc.
Nowadays, most fai cheun are mass produced printed affairs, and the poetic phrases are stock ones like Mrs. Wong's favorite "Cheut yahp ping on"–Come in, come out peacefully. But in olden times, fai cheun were handmade affairs, and the couplets were composed for the occasion by the calligrapher writing the fai cheun, often spontaneously.
In Hong Kong, the making of fai cheun has drifted into the world of politics. I'm not sure how or when this tradition of scholars and artists got turned over to the politicians. What I do know is that, in the weeks before Chinese New Year, all the major Hong Kong political parties send their best known leaders and legislators out into the street with brushes and black ink to make fai chuen for the public. Imagine if politicians in the U.S., in addition to their baby-kissing and rubber chicken-eating obligations, had to be judged, like their Hong Kong counterparts, on their handwriting and poetry-composing skills!

I've heard whispers that some Hong Kong politicians actually take calligraphy lessons in the weeks before New Year's, so their fai cheun won't look clumsy and embarrass them. (From the textbook-perfect form that DAB chairman emeritus Tsang Yok-sing is using to hold his bat, I'd guess he'd recently gone in for some, um, brush-ups.) For there is a high bar set in the political fai cheun stakes. Hong Kong's most famous pro-Democrat and most venerable elder statesman also happens to be a master calligrapher: Mr. Szeto Wah:

Last Sunday I was wandering around Causeway Bay and ran into Wah Suk–Mr. Szeto is 77 years old and everybody in Hong Kong calls him "Uncle"–sitting at his folding table. I asked him to make me a fai cheun. He looked me in the eye for a moment, as if sizing me up, then asked me my profession, and my Chinese character name. Then, huddling over two blank red papers, he dipped his pen into a saucer of jet black ink, and wrote quickly, with careful strokes:

I couldn't read the whole thing right there and then--I had never seen the third character from the top, on the right, before. So it was only after I returned to the comforts of my home and my dictionary that I realized what clever and masterful strokes Uncle Szeto had performed. In just a moment or two, he had written a lucky Spring Couplet that riffs and quotes and puns, like a jazz piece, around the two characters of my Chinese name, Lan Yan (which means–ugh!–Graceful Orchid, for those of you who haven't already read about how I got the name.)
"Lan saam sau hau/Yan chung ching luhng"
The character I didn't know is "sau", to embroider or knit. It's the key to Mr. Szeto's clever pun. The first two characters in the couplet, "Lan Saam" mean "Orchid and Heart". But when you say them aloud in Cantonese, they sound like laan saam--sweater.
A perfect pun for a freezing Hong Kong day.
Here's my stab at a somewhat poetic translation (Attention Kempton, Alice, armegag, Siu82, joyce, Roland and all you other native Cantonese speakers! Please feel free to tell me if I'm even close!):
"The flower in heart embroiders (her) language/With serious grace and abundant affection."
Szeto Wah's handmade fai cheun does exactly what a Chinese New Year's fai cheun is supposed to do: put a little spring cheer into a heart that's survived the winter's cold. I can't think of a sweeter note on which to enter the Year of the Rat.
Well, actually, I can. (Consider this next bit to be like the cool snippets that run over the credits of a Jackie Chan movie).
Cut to Wan Chai. I'm shivering down Johnston Road at rush hour, weaving through the crowd. On the corner of one of the market street lanes, I see a guy pushing a steaming cart, loaded to the gills with hot roasted chestnuts. For a moment I think about buying some, they smell so good, but he's passing so quickly, it's too crowded to get to my wallet, I don't have any small change...
Then, abruptly, one of the old lady market vendors whips out her arm and steals a fistful of hot chestnuts on the sly.
I can't help laughing. It's like she read my mind. And I feel naughty, like making trouble, so I laugh at her and say, in Cantonese, "You stole it, ah!"
She looks up at me from inside of the ratty scarf she has wound around and around her head like a turban, and she's laughing like hell.
Hou dung ah! Hou dung!
And then, so fast that I don't even have a second to register surprise, she grabs my hand, opens it, and presses it full of hot chestnuts.
Yit di la! Now you're warmer, see!
She sends me on my way, with a hand full of Hong Kong's heart.
*****
By the way, if you're in Hong Kong, you can find Szeto Wah out on the street writing fai cheun for the public during the next few evenings at the big Flower Market festival at Victoria Park in Causeway bay. Chinese readers (that is, people who can read Chinese) can consult Wah Suk's complete schedule here.
Gung hei faat choi! to all of my "Learning Cantonese" duhk je. And do jeh--this is a do jeh situation for sure--to everyone, for your kind comments and enthusiastic support in this last blogging year.

The Eskimos, so they say, have 12 different words for snow. Well, in Hong Kong, we have a dozen or more ways to say: Eat Here!
The variety of Cantonese words that mean “place to eat” is pretty amazing. Jau ga, jau lau, sihk sat, mihn sik, chaan teng, cha chaan teng. Years ago, when I was studying Cantonese in New York’s Chinatown, I remember how bewildered I was by it all. “But Mr. Wen,” I would ask my septuagenarian teacher from Canton, “The lesson book says that a jau ga is a restaurant. But then it says jau lau also means restaurant?
“Yes, same,” Mr. Wen sighed patiently.
So, then, what about the chaan teng, I’d ask him. And the mihn sihk and mihn ga–are these restaurants, too?
“Yes,” he would nod, “Also restaurants.”
By this point, feeling like the dimmest student on the planet, I’d stop with the questions. For years, I believed that the Cantonese language had numerous ways to say “restaurant”, all of them more or less interchangable.
Then I moved to Hong Kong.
Where I discovered that Hong Kong has as many different types of eateries as there are Cantonese words to describe them. .......